Denser than water.

I said GET Yenda, not GO TO Yenda,’ says the mate on the phone, surrounded by a room full of other mates, as they wait for their stupid mate to get back with the beer.

See, the silly sausage, decked out in his Wallabies gear, thought that when his mate said ‘Get Yenda’ just before kick off, he meant ‘Drive for thirteen hours for a case of beer.’

Ohhh! How silly! But what a card he is! What a classic mate — so lovably stupid, just as a bloke should be.

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Tell her about it.

Do you have someone lovely in your life?

Are you lucky enough to have a wife? A girlfriend? Someone that loves you? Someone who looks at you that way that makes you want to launch ships, take to the battlefield, or simply do better fighting your own demons?

Do you have someone helping you be a better man? Do you have someone who is there for you all those times you fail? Do you have someone partnering you in life?

If you’re blessed enough to have a woman in your life — to have love in your life — then this post is for you.

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The battle of who could care less.

I seem to get a lot of my inspiration for these posts from sportsmen. And I wonder if that’s because they are such an easily viewable, and highly indicative example of Australian male stereotypes. In other words, they tend to be rather supremely gifted physically, but fairly poorly educated, and so immature (and emotionally stunted) that they are practically still children.

So often, our elite sportsmen present an illuminating example of the male paradox — they appear to have everything (money, fame, physique, sex appeal, confidence and control), and yet at some point or other it becomes apparent that many of these men are missing the stuff that makes life worthwhile.
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Every man is an island.

I read an interesting piece about Rugby League player, Daly Cherry-Evans the other day. Basically, the shape of it was that he’d become unpopular (to the extent that he may be being excluded from higher honours) because his personality was so inscrutable. It’s not that he was offensive, as such, but his lack of candour, the seemingly disingenuous way he communicated, the lack of insight he provided into his true self, has put even NRL hard men off. And it got me thinking — what a typically male defense that sounded like…
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Enough already

I do it all the time. Compare myself to my peers. To celebrities. To my own expectations of who I should be. To what I assume women want. To that guy there who is clearly ‘enough’ but I’m not.

It feels so personal. So uniquely me. So much my own particular brand of shitness that I’ve finally realised it must be happening in some shape or form for pretty much everyone. You might beat yourself up about slightly different stuff from me, but I’m willing to bet you’re doing it. You’re thinking you’re not enough too.

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The new (less sexy) L word.

It’s been one of those quiet Sundays. You know, the ones that most people would give their first-born child for? No appointments, no responsibilities, no visitors — nothing you have to do at all. One of those days when you can catch up on your passion project, and spend quality time on the things you really care about. Work on that novel you’ve been talking about for too long, get that website up like you’ve been meaning to do — or whatever it is you told yourself you’d do when you went to bed the night before.

But here’s what happened. There was not a single thing I had to do. Not an appointment, not a visitor, not a phonecall. And as the morning moved into the afternoon, and it started to become apparent that the novel wasn’t going to move terribly far forward, and that website was an immovable son-of-a-bitch, that old feeling started to creep back in…

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‘Muddling through’ Christmas without your loved one.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Let your heart be light.
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Make the yuletide gay.
Next year all our troubles will be miles away.

Once again as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore,
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more.

Someday soon we all will be together,
If the fates allow.
Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

– Hugh Martin, Ralph Blane

I have always loved this Christmas song, sung by Julie Garland in Meet Me in St Louis, but this year it’s taken on so much greater a significance. It feels like the only song I’ll hear this season that truly relates to my experience. And I guess I just wanted to post and share it with you, in case you were in a similar boat.

Continue reading “‘Muddling through’ Christmas without your loved one.”